Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Gassault And Battery

Well, I tried to resist as long as I could but when you see something as lovely as this, work a night shift and have no one with whom you can immediately share it with, well, I guess it's time to join this thing they call the Blogosphere. (Is that right?) Anyway, here it is from the Toronto Star's website:

Man Charged With Battery After Passing Gas

SOUTH CHARLESTON, W.Va.–A West Virginia man who police said passed gas and fanned it toward a patrolman has been charged with battery on a police officer.

As Patrolman T.E. Parsons prepared the machine, Cruz scooted his chair toward Parsons, lifted his leg and "passed gas loudly," the complaint said.

Cruz, according to complaint, then fanned the gas toward the officer.

"The gas was very odorous and created contact of an insulting or provoking nature with Patrolman Parsons," the complaint alleged।

Cruz said the officers thought the gas incident was funny when it happened and laughed about it with him.

"This is ridiculous," he said. "I could be facing time."

At first sight I thought someone had planted this on the Star's website from The Onion. But no, it apparently really happened and it's really in the news! I can't help but wonder how people in life could have had me charged with battery. Or how many counter charges I could have filed. I wonder if there's anything in Civil Code regarding this sort of thing. I could file suits against everyone from my girlfriend to people on the subway, to my father when I was 4 years old, right up to last Xmas. With the right lawyer I could quit my job and never have to work again.